Tuesday 5 August 2014

The Beauty In Life.


"The advantage of being freak is that it makes you strong. But the question is, how strong do you want her to be?"
Can we just pause for a moment and appreciate how great House is? And that man is just too awesome.


So I'd been planning to change the readers of the blog for good.



But I assure you, you will be changed for better if not best. I aim to shift your paradigm and to broaden your spectrum (I hope nobody's a Tahir Shah fan out there) and perspective. Hopefully I'll change your outlook at simple things and you won't take simple things in your life for granted. You'll cherish each and every moment. People should learn to appreciate small moments of joy. You should register small moments of happiness and peace because as they say, "Kia pata kal kia hojai." (For all those who don't understand Urdu, well now's a good time to learn because you aren't getting any translation)
So coming back to changing you ungrateful bunch of humans. You may wonder that what magic I possess to perform such a difficult task.
Well we'll start with a really simple and a basic thing and later we'll work up to the next level and so on.
The above statement clearly shows that I'll be one hell of a teacher.
So how many of you eat eggs?
Ok, forget that, how many of you take eggs for granted or worse think that eggs are disgusting?

Well then don't expect me to be okay with it because you're all idiots.
Do you know that a normal person consumes around 173 eggs a year?
Concentrate on the word normal.

Have you ever appreciated eggs knowing the fact that you can't really bake a cake without breaking a few eggs?

And how about this?

But maybe it is too gross for you, no?

Without eggs you can't savour the bite of the cheesy slice of pizza because I think (and I'm usually right) eggs are used in pizza dough, so no pizzas for you anymore, pansy cake.


Stick to kaddu ka salan, next time you want to eat something.

And added to that, you can't enjoy the peanut butter sandwich, Nutella sandwich or any other kind of sandwich because yes, you guessed it right. Eggs are used in bread.

Haha and I just discovered that you can't have that cool scoop of icecream. No little insolent brat, no more ice cream for you.
 Suffer in silence.

Enough with the Googling, I don't expect you to grab the reality this fast but I'm hoping you won't disregard eggmazing things.
Added to the foodie business, eggs serve another great purpose and no I'm not referring to beauty tips. I have no plan to teach you about how to make your skin slippery like an egg white.
Instead I'm here to present you and introduce you with my egg-celent approach to cursing without seeming to be abusive. Next time you want to shout and curse anyone, you can call them a various number of things instead of that boring eff word.
Here you go, and make sure to keep your lolling tongue inside.
Aloo Anday Piyaaz
Koftay Anday
Ublay hoay Anday.

You can come up with some of your own. Stop counting on me for everything.
And stop being such an egg.