Donot Venture Forth If You're Going To Judge.

There is not enough gas coming in and consequently, I was forced to fry my egg in the microwave. And that too quite successfully, I may add, except that it tasted like a boiled one. Dado is flying in this Saturday and I'll have to move upstairs in this cold. Yesterday, I mustered up all my will power and finally decided to bathe, thanked God that Nani has solar geysers in our house but guess what? The water was not warm enough, to which Mom said; "Haan tou sooraj kon sa araha hai?" Point to be noted before I feel any inclination to take a shower.

And all my classmates here insist  that they love winters, and that too in quite a boasting manner.

Considering how hot the summers are in Faisalabad and that there is no electricity and that one has to take three showers a day even though she wants to conserve water and is hydrophobic, I kind of agree with them. But that won't stop my fingers turned into like carrot sticks while I type, now will it?

And it's going to be 2015 soon and I was thinking that everyone should make their (hahaa) new year resolution, not because it will inspire you to be a better person in the upcoming year but because it will save you from the boredom monster that has been attacking me since the past two days. I've turned into such a stalker and triumph came on the discovery of  a senior's blog back when he was fifteen years old. Such a kewl blog, I may add. Let's break dance, mate. Also I've assumed my role of Solution Aunty again, playing the mediator. A batch mate keeps on messaging me on Facebook yesterday about how it is her birthday tomorrow and that how nice it would be if she get a birthday surprise from us. The last year at school and giving birthday surprises to everyone and all that stuff. We've been planning so many birthdays that it's not much of a surprise anymore.

After eating parathas for almost two weeks while Ammi went to Karachi without taking me and Nani force feeding me  saag and the paratha, I think I've finally made peace with them. I want to learn how to swear in Punjabi. Or maybe, not. My egg language would suffice.
All the tickets for Anwar Maqsood Ka Dharna have been sold out except for 29 December and Ammi still hasn't agreed to take me to Lahore. Sed story, bro. She should pity me and consider the fact that I missed Karachi Literature Festival and Faisalabad Literature Festival (because a friend kept on insisting it was only for the faculty members). A shame, I know.
Anyways till I have nothing left to blab about, I'm out. Anyways I can always my Twitter timeline if something new comes up, which I doubt ever will.
Allah Hafiz

The Beauty In Life.

"The advantage of being freak is that it makes you strong. But the question is, how strong do you want her to be?"
Can we just pause for a moment and appreciate how great House is? And that man is just too awesome.

So I'd been planning to change the readers of the blog for good.

But I assure you, you will be changed for better if not best. I aim to shift your paradigm and to broaden your spectrum (I hope nobody's a Tahir Shah fan out there) and perspective. Hopefully I'll change your outlook at simple things and you won't take simple things in your life for granted. You'll cherish each and every moment. People should learn to appreciate small moments of joy. You should register small moments of happiness and peace because as they say, "Kia pata kal kia hojai." (For all those who don't understand Urdu, well now's a good time to learn because you aren't getting any translation)
So coming back to changing you ungrateful bunch of humans. You may wonder that what magic I possess to perform such a difficult task.
Well we'll start with a really simple and a basic thing and later we'll work up to the next level and so on.
The above statement clearly shows that I'll be one hell of a teacher.
So how many of you eat eggs?
Ok, forget that, how many of you take eggs for granted or worse think that eggs are disgusting?

Well then don't expect me to be okay with it because you're all idiots.
Do you know that a normal person consumes around 173 eggs a year?
Concentrate on the word normal.

Have you ever appreciated eggs knowing the fact that you can't really bake a cake without breaking a few eggs?

And how about this?

But maybe it is too gross for you, no?

Without eggs you can't savour the bite of the cheesy slice of pizza because I think (and I'm usually right) eggs are used in pizza dough, so no pizzas for you anymore, pansy cake.

Stick to kaddu ka salan, next time you want to eat something.

And added to that, you can't enjoy the peanut butter sandwich, Nutella sandwich or any other kind of sandwich because yes, you guessed it right. Eggs are used in bread.

Haha and I just discovered that you can't have that cool scoop of icecream. No little insolent brat, no more ice cream for you.

 Suffer in silence.

Enough with the Googling, I don't expect you to grab the reality this fast but I'm hoping you won't disregard eggmazing things.
Added to the foodie business, eggs serve another great purpose and no I'm not referring to beauty tips. I have no plan to teach you about how to make your skin slippery like an egg white.
Instead I'm here to present you and introduce you with my egg-celent approach to cursing without seeming to be abusive. Next time you want to shout and curse anyone, you can call them a various number of things instead of that boring eff word.
Here you go, and make sure to keep your lolling tongue inside.
Aloo Anday Piyaaz
Koftay Anday
Ublay hoay Anday.

You can come up with some of your own. Stop counting on me for everything.
And stop being such an egg.

The Unconscious Belief

If I were to tell you my inspiration for this article, you might be a bit surprised. The other day at my office, the people started up a random discussion, which basically went along the lines of, "If you knew that you're going to die in a few hours and that you're going to hell for certain, would you kill everyone you hate?"

Most people said yes. Some people asked how much time they exactly had, as so to decide whether they could kill slowly and painfully or not. Some started wondering what would happen if they met the very person(s) they killed in hell later. But you get the general response.

I had my diplomatic answer of "I'd rather use the time to tell my loved ones that I love them" ready, but as it turns out, nobody really cares about interns.

Anyway, this question led my mind to wander along a trail weaved with reminiscence and deep thought. I remembered certain occasions where some particular friends had proclaimed things like, “Yaar hum to pakkay dozakhi hain”, and, “We're already going to hell anyway, so might as well”. If they are so sure of their state-of-affairs in the afterlife, will they start killing everyone they hate a few hours from their death?

Somehow, I think that even if they had some way of extracting knowledge about the time of their deaths, some certain people I could name but won't would still be safe.

The obvious question at this point is, how come? If a person truly believes that he will go to hell regardless of whatever he does, I'm sure he would cease to care about a lot of things. But while you may come across many people who have a firm belief that hell is indeed the only place for them in the afterlife, they still abstain from utter indifference. The reason being, they don't really believe that will end up in hell. And why? Because,

He is the Most Merciful, and the Most Beneficent.

I personally believe that such apparently hopeless people; or any of us, for that matter; don't truly believe that they will end up in hell, despite of all the sins they may have committed and may continue to do so. It is a fact we just cannot come to terms with, because there is still that small smidgen of hope, based on the infinite mercy of Allah, that we shall be forgiven on the Day of Judgment; that things will somehow work out, and that we can escape the unimaginable horror that awaits the non-believers. Allah is the All Powerful and the All Merciful; in Him we trust.

However, there could be a negative aspect to this too. If this really is the reason and this unrealized-to-most belief really does exist, some people might take this a tad too far, and continue to commit all sorts of wrongs and sins regardless, and simply shrug it off saying, 'Allah maaf karnay wala hai yaar'. I have seen this happen many times and while it's good to have this firm a belief in His mercy, you surely aren't earning yourself any favors by continuing to commit these wrongdoings, whatever they may be. Allah may be prepared to overlook these acts, but why not try giving Him a reason to do so? And what better time for a change of habit(s) than the holy month of Ramazan? 

Of course, this all may be baloney and may not make a lot of sense, if any at all since it is currently 5 in the morning and I wrote this simply because I felt like writing and nothing else came to mind, but as long as it may serve a good purpose, what's the harm?

Shit Got Real.

So basically, I have no idea how to impress the readers of this blog with my first ever legend-wait-for-it-dary post. And therefore, dear amigos I have decided to do what I do best, which is basically four things.
Blab
Sleep
Blab
And blab some more.
Wow. This is as eggmazing as it can get. I doubt anyone can do all the four things as well as I can.
On a serious note, without much further ado, I am not going to blab about some useless shit here. Instead I'm going to give you some tips or life saving advice for the moments when you're forced to think that shit just got real!  There are moments when you find yourself lost, wandering trying hard to make way around the mess and think for the zenith time that why in the hell did I want to grow up. Because apparently you prefer those keechar walay pizzas and not the smart gadgets you have stocked up on. There are moments when you get nostalgic and think about all those moments when you actually didn't know the meaning of shit. Well not to worry because I'm going to save you from such moments.

You know what's really shitty. Summer, heat, sweat trickling down nastily your back and no fan to propel that hot air in your face. Because of loadshedding and no electricity for almost twelve hours, and to put that tasteless cherry on top of the burnt cake, you live in Punjab. Wow. Well to deal with that shit, all you got to do is ask your wife, mother, daughter or sister to make you a cup of tea (because you're a lazy sloth and a male chauvinist) and then go upstairs or out in the verandah and start dancing. It is preferable if you do lungi dance.

There are times when you just can't bear your slippers getting stolen while you're being a good son and praying in mosque on Friday and secretly wish that you were a girl. Well thanks to me your problem is solved. Just don't eat anything for the next two whole days and on the morning of the third day, kaboom, you're a changed man woman. And the best part is you can always change back once you're tired of the male dominated society around you. All you have to do is eat the crunchy wafer-ish chocolate which is basically manufactured to shame real chocolates.

These are enough for now. Go watch football.
And since I can't think of anything good to blab about, I should consider sleeping.
Bye.

A poem for us all

A little poem I wrote for myself and you people, the readers. You know what they say, first post best post. lol. I'll just let the words I wrote do the rest. Here you go.


Why is it that you do what you do?

Why do you conduct research conductive?

Would you still do it if you knew?

Tis to one's self and soul: destructive.

　

Do not douse in the dark,

For black is not a colour.

Black is the colours' absence;

No absence could be more duller.

　

Life is a gift far too precious to be;

Wasted on marijuana and coke.

If you crave, have a cup of tea

But please don't drink or smoke.

　

Hear the rain drops pitter patter,

For them there will be no tommorow,

Don't fall from grace and shatter

Life is not all grief and sorrow



　

Amidst the clouds, see the silver lining,

Alas! All storms come to an end.

Then you will see the sun shining.

It's what's broken that must mend.

A Life Secret Hidden in a Hiking Trip

Well no students will leave a chance to miss out a hiking trip to Monal arranged by University, when they know that there will be no issue of attendance for leaving the most hated lab. I never went on to complete the hiking trip to Monal but I always believed that I’m a sportsman so I had many alternate solutions for that. Indeed it was like sunshine in the dark opportunity, how could I miss it? As most of my classmates commonly thought, I went for the trip. It was the first time I got an opportunity to sit in a University bus. We reached the starting point in no time and it was time to begin our knee crunching journey. Most of us chose the toughest route to reach Monal, trail 3. As our journey began, many of us were enthusiastic and took off aggressively. Moving up faster and sometimes running when finding a slanted plain surface. There were still many students strolling near the start point but as time passed, the distance between me and then started to increase and there were fewer people remaining around me whom I knew. Then I found two of my colleagues Ubaid and a girl name Maheen. They were just behind me and completing their journey like the destination is in their hands. Ignoring the fact that friends could help to complete your journey happily and passing time with them is fun. They were my classmate but we didn’t get enough opportunities to talk or share ideas. It’s always good to know that familiar faces are around you. But then it struck my mind that it represents a disrespectful attitude towards my classmates that I’m not stopping when they are just few feet away from me. With a hint of reluctance, I took a deep breath while stopping and joined them. As we started moving together I came to know that Maheen’s father used to come to hiking and it took him 2.5 hours to complete the full trail and we had just been moving for 45 minutes. I thought to change my mindset and focus that I can still make it in time.  The journey in itself is exploring the natural of beauty of the Margalla Hills and I thoroughly enjoyed the silence, bird squiring, greenery and also the company of people whom first I thought would be a distraction. It all happened because we were determined to reach the destination. It reminded me of the famous quote “safar jitna b lamba ho saathi ache hone chaiye” but it makes true sense when you know your friend is also willing to reach the destination. Time passed quite well and they even stopped by a thorn got pinched in my shoe and they helped me to take that out. We saw few people crossing us so I was expecting that we will be on top in 15 minutes but we were falling behind. It seemed so unlikely when I was moving up. I was moving like a king on a horse not knowing my army had marched forward already. Its human nature to absorb joyful moments but we realize later the difficult tasks that follow.

Like hiking trip to un-measured destination, our approach to our dreams is like same. We know our destination but we don’t know how much time it will take and how much difficult it will be, how many ups and downs there will be, how many times your mind will distract you from reaching to your goal and how many times u will be pinched by thorn (people who will you pull back and discourage you) but you still need to keep on moving. Dreams become reality when you know in your heart and sure of your capabilities and again repeating the quote  “safar jitna b lamba ho saathi ache hone chaiye” make sense because a true friends /family/life partner will help you to achieve your goals when they have faith in you, but if they don’t help you instead pull you back, don’t stop for them , keep advancing and there will be new people arriving in your life and eventually you will get along with them ,they will help you to reach to your destination when you reach there don’t be upset seeing many people already there , because before the begin of journey, nobody expected themselves to be there ,congratulate yourself  for making to the final point because you earned it, than the story of true successful person is written !! Try to think of life with another perspective because every dream deserves to become a reality.