Shit Got Real.

So basically, I have no idea how to impress the readers of this blog with my first ever legend-wait-for-it-dary post. And therefore, dear amigos I have decided to do what I do best, which is basically four things.
Blab
Sleep
Blab
And blab some more.
Wow. This is as eggmazing as it can get. I doubt anyone can do all the four things as well as I can.
On a serious note, without much further ado, I am not going to blab about some useless shit here. Instead I'm going to give you some tips or life saving advice for the moments when you're forced to think that shit just got real!  There are moments when you find yourself lost, wandering trying hard to make way around the mess and think for the zenith time that why in the hell did I want to grow up. Because apparently you prefer those keechar walay pizzas and not the smart gadgets you have stocked up on. There are moments when you get nostalgic and think about all those moments when you actually didn't know the meaning of shit. Well not to worry because I'm going to save you from such moments.

You know what's really shitty. Summer, heat, sweat trickling down nastily your back and no fan to propel that hot air in your face. Because of loadshedding and no electricity for almost twelve hours, and to put that tasteless cherry on top of the burnt cake, you live in Punjab. Wow. Well to deal with that shit, all you got to do is ask your wife, mother, daughter or sister to make you a cup of tea (because you're a lazy sloth and a male chauvinist) and then go upstairs or out in the verandah and start dancing. It is preferable if you do lungi dance.

There are times when you just can't bear your slippers getting stolen while you're being a good son and praying in mosque on Friday and secretly wish that you were a girl. Well thanks to me your problem is solved. Just don't eat anything for the next two whole days and on the morning of the third day, kaboom, you're a changed man woman. And the best part is you can always change back once you're tired of the male dominated society around you. All you have to do is eat the crunchy wafer-ish chocolate which is basically manufactured to shame real chocolates.

These are enough for now. Go watch football.
And since I can't think of anything good to blab about, I should consider sleeping.
Bye.