"The advantage of being freak is that it makes you strong. But the question is, how strong do you want her to be?"
Can we just pause for a moment and appreciate how great House is? And that man is just too awesome.
So I'd been planning to change the readers of the blog for good.
But I assure you, you will be changed for better if not best. I aim to shift your paradigm and to broaden your spectrum (I hope nobody's a Tahir Shah fan out there) and perspective. Hopefully I'll change your outlook at simple things and you won't take simple things in your life for granted. You'll cherish each and every moment. People should learn to appreciate small moments of joy. You should register small moments of happiness and peace because as they say, "Kia pata kal kia hojai." (For all those who don't understand Urdu, well now's a good time to learn because you aren't getting any translation)
So coming back to changing you ungrateful bunch of humans. You may wonder that what magic I possess to perform such a difficult task.
Well we'll start with a really simple and a basic thing and later we'll work up to the next level and so on.
The above statement clearly shows that I'll be one hell of a teacher.
So how many of you eat eggs?
Ok, forget that, how many of you take eggs for granted or worse think that eggs are disgusting?
Well then don't expect me to be okay with it because you're all idiots.
Do you know that a normal person consumes around 173 eggs a year?
Concentrate on the word normal.
Have you ever appreciated eggs knowing the fact that you can't really bake a cake without breaking a few eggs?
And how about this?
But maybe it is too gross for you, no?
Without eggs you can't savour the bite of the cheesy slice of pizza because I think (and I'm usually right) eggs are used in pizza dough, so no pizzas for you anymore, pansy cake.
Stick to kaddu ka salan, next time you want to eat something.
And added to that, you can't enjoy the peanut butter sandwich, Nutella sandwich or any other kind of sandwich because yes, you guessed it right. Eggs are used in bread.
Haha and I just discovered that you can't have that cool scoop of icecream. No little insolent brat, no more ice cream for you.
Enough with the Googling, I don't expect you to grab the reality this fast but I'm hoping you won't disregard eggmazing things.
Added to the foodie business, eggs serve another great purpose and no I'm not referring to beauty tips. I have no plan to teach you about how to make your skin slippery like an egg white.
Instead I'm here to present you and introduce you with my egg-celent approach to cursing without seeming to be abusive. Next time you want to shout and curse anyone, you can call them a various number of things instead of that boring eff word.
Here you go, and make sure to keep your lolling tongue inside.
Aloo Anday Piyaaz
Koftay Anday
Ublay hoay Anday.
You can come up with some of your own. Stop counting on me for everything.
And stop being such an egg.
Never have I ever came across such a self-obsessed anda woman like you! :P
ReplyDeleteAre you trying to say that I'm eggmazingly extra ordinary? Thankyou
ReplyDelete*bows down*
This is quite an interesting article. But unfortunately all I can say that I have learned from this is that you are addicted to eggs. But at least I learned something right?
ReplyDeleteHere is my issue. You think you are proving something by saying "OH you don't like egg? What about cake and ice cream and other amazing tasty things" but really you're just giving us examples of good egg products. Their are many good AND bad egg products. If you add suger and flour to eggs, you will get cake, which is good. But if you add vinegar and oil, you get deviled eggs, which are terrible. Meaning it's not the egg itself that's amazing, it's how you prepare it.
The same thing applies for cocoa beans. A cocoa bean is the most sour, foul tasting thing you will taste, but if you add sugar and milk, you get chocolate, which is one of the most loved sweet dishes.
So next time you go crazy for your egg addiction, go eat a raw uncooked egg, and then tell us how great it is.
Checkmate ;)
~Hamza
Wow you're a good learner bro! I'm amazed at your ability to learn important lessons fast.
ReplyDeleteSo you can't simply appreciate the fact that without eggs these tasty things would be unlikely to come into existence and you'll continue to unjustifiably hate eggs. Fine with me. happy eating karelay combined with kaddu gosht. :)
And for the record I'm not addicted to eggs, I just think 'some' ungrateful people should be reminded of something's goodness before they start hating things.
If you read my comment at all, you would clearly see that I do appreciate eggs. I like them in good forms, and dislike them in bad forms. You use the word hate so easily. For me not to like deviled eggs means I hate them? Absolutely not.
ReplyDeleteYou see, you're looking at the small picture here. You are in love with the eggs, but fail to realize that their are so many other ingredients that lead to a cake tasting as good as it does. And this doesn't just apply for just eggs, it applies to the world we live in. Its never a single factor that will lead to the success of something, it is ALWAYS a group effort. Without that group, the singular factor is nothing.
So instead of just appreciating the egg, I appreciate the big picture. Not just the ingredients, but the cook, and the process, and the time and effort. Without those things, the egg is just an egg.
(Oh and by the way, its sad to see that "karelay combined with kaddu gosht" is used as a negative thing. If you saw the beauty in life, you would see how EXTREMELY privileged people are if they have the opportunity to eat something like that.)
~Hamza
LOL :D
ReplyDelete@Jaweria Are you laughing out loud because of the post or because your cousin is extremely annoying.
ReplyDelete@ExtremelyAnnoyingPerson First of all it is *there not their. And I didn't used karelay combined with kaddu gosht as negative thing. I wish you happy eating them otherwise I'd have told you to go starve. And okay. Also I'd like to just say that some Japanese researchers discovered that Pakistanis are best people at detecting sarcasm on the internet. This research definitely says something about you
Where are guys exactly going with such an innocent post!
ReplyDeleteover the moon!
Delete@Aqsa lolng on the post and a few more things which i dont think u would like to hear here ;)
ReplyDeleteP.S. My cousin is sooo NOT annoyng. :D
@Yumna ikr?! :p
@SweetSweetAqsa I didn't know that this was a Grammar Blog, but if you're going to treat it that way, then I have some corrections for you;
ReplyDeleteYou should have a comma after "post", and a question mark at the end of your first sentence.
I didn't use*
as a negative thing*
And okay,* (and remove also [or remove "and okay" completely])
Pakistanis are the best people at*
Those are just the mistakes in your comment, don't get me started on your actual post, because that would take way to long. But because this isn't a Grammar Blog, I don't think I have to do that.
And yes, I do agree that you didn't use "karelay combined with kaddu gosht" as a negative thing, but you used it in a downgrading manor, which really shouldn't be done seeing that your post is about appreciating things.
I'm glad you have found something that is somewhat redeeming about your country. I really hope that Pakistanis can fix their political and social issues with their ability to detect sarcasm (And trust me, I wish the best for Pakistan). But, I don't see where you saw sarcasm in my comment. I am simply stating what I believe. That is all. There is no need to get annoyed and start throwing insults, because that will never solve any problem.
No need to get bitter, I would rather converse in a calm, professional manor.
@Yumna Hi. How's life?
~Hamza Khalid
@ExtremelyAnnoyingPerson *too long
ReplyDelete*downgrading manner
*professional manner
"Oh and by the way, its sad to see that "karelay combined with kaddu gosht" is used as a negative thing", so now you do accept that you were wrong with your perception? Good!
About my country? Wow! I don't want to get started on this debate over here.
I'm bitter and that shouldn't be a problem since you love karelay.
@Yumna Someone is so bored and farigh that he is trying to pick an argument.
@Jaweria Yes, he is. And you wouldn't see that because he succeeded in fooling you to believe the contrary.
P.S Stop ruining my post!
@Hamza I'm still thinking over what to reply you with ( kher I guess I kind of did that)
ReplyDelete@Jaweria plisss stop getting khandaan-obsessed! :P
@Aqsa I'm kinda speechless on that part
@Aqsa i could say the same thing about you cuz i usually always support u but right now i see he has a point plus i hate andayy.
ReplyDelete@Yumna mera khaandaan meri marzi.
@Hamza bas choro yaar koie faida nhi hai.
:p
@Jaweria Your judgement is clouded with your hatred of anday :P
ReplyDeletewow... you need stricter comment moderation. lol. I dun give neg comments a second glance. :P
ReplyDeleteHumpty Dumpty would have been very happy to see this post. Too bad he died, but I bet he made a great big omelet for all the king's men and the king. The moral of the story however is a serious one. Trying to extract something better out of the simplest things, which should indeed be done more often, if not usually. There are some people who might find this allegory to be offensive, like vegans, but that's the internet for you!
ReplyDelete